New horizons.

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore” – William Faulkner

It’s hard to believe that in less than a month I’ll be going back to school for the last time (for a while, at least). I’m in my fourth year of nursing school, which feels so crazy. It’s both scary and exciting because so many new opportunities and adventures lie ahead for me.

Lately I’ve been seeing memories of posts I made on Facebook in my last years of high school; of how excited I was to embark on the journey university and life in Ottawa had to offer. Little did I know that these past few years would test me and force me to see so many new facets of myself that I didn’t even know existed. During university, I would experience so many things to make me realize that I wasn’t as secure in myself as I thought as a teenager, and to realize that entering into adulthood wasn’t as glamorous as I made it out to be.

At eighteen I had a specific idea of how university would play out for me, and to be quite honest; most of what I had imagined at the time did eventually happen, but not by the timeline I had so rigidly constructed.  There was so much more to this journey: mistakes to be made, tears to be shed, lessons to be learned; that at 18 I could never have imagined.

Now at twenty-one I see the growth I have experienced over the past few years, but I realize I still have so much to continue learn about myself. I hope for this last year of school that I can continue to learn more about myself, in my many roles. A nurse. A friend. A girlfriend. A daughter. And a woman.

I hope to continue to develop a security to carry with me through my adult years, one that allows me to live life to its fullest and experience all the opportunities I have created for myself. I think as a teenager I failed to give myself enough credit. I had lived through some challenges and made it to the other side. Now I want to do the same as a young adult. I need to appreciate the struggles I’ve had, learn and grow from them, rather then resent them. I must realize that my insecurities will always be a part of me, but to realize that I can live peacefully and happily with them as I embark into my last year of becoming a nurse.

 

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